Acco I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I read this.There are three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. They don't make you feel any shame for the category you fall into.attachment style can be problematic, but it can also change for the better over time, particularly with intentional therapeutic work. Attachment theory began in the 1940's as a way to describe patterns of infant and caregiver bonding.And understanding attachment theory can be an instrumental part of that process of therapeutic change. It is one of the first psychological theories to integrate evolutionary theory.While the categorisation of every human relationship into 3 categories of Secure (50% of the population), Anxious (21%), and Avoidant (25%) may not be all inclusive and exhaustive for those with a discerning and scrutinising disposition; however, it does offer a useful insight into your relationships, if you can relate to one of the 3 categories.
I liked this book because I felt like it really helped me understand why a lot of the relationships I have stop working the way I want them to.What I liked about the book is that it doesn't tell you which is the best category to belong to, or how you should change in order to be more Secure (the category ideally suited for all relationships - the O Negative of relationships).The lessons in the book are more about understanding the 3 categories and feeling comfortable with yours in order to avoid the negative emotions that come associated with relationships between people belonging to different categories; especially ones that arise from Anxious-Avoidant relationships, which tends to happen most frequently despite the inherent incompatibilities.The book provides a lot of examples and checklists and inventories so that you can figure out what's going on in your relationship, how you might be exacerbating the problems, and give suggestions about how you could respond instead. One of the biggest things I liked about this book is that the authors didn't suggest that we should all go around acting uninterested and like we don't want serious relationships, when we do.Or that a woman should play hard to get and make a man "chase" her.