The last thing to know is that our relational conditioning i.e.
attachment style can be problematic, The first (and maybe only) thing to understand about attachment theory, is that attachment is simply a fancy word for love. Once you understand that, the rest of the theory makes perfect sense.
In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today.
According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.
The author describes how attachment theory can be applied to romantic relationships.
There are three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant.
The book provides a lot of examples and checklists and inventories so that you can figure out what's going on in your relationship, how you might be exacerbating the problems, and give suggestions about how you could respond instead. One of the biggest things I liked about this book is that the authors didn't suggest that we should all go around acting uninterested and like we don't want serious relationships, when we do.
The lessons in the book are more about understanding the 3 categories and feeling comfortable with yours in order to avoid the negative emotions that come associated with relationships between people belonging to different categories; especially ones that arise from Anxious-Avoidant relationships, which tends to happen most frequently despite the inherent incompatibilities.
Given their nature, this book is more likely to be read by people belonging to the Anxious category, and much less by the Avoidants, who could possibly benefit the most from it.
The first (and maybe only) thing to understand about attachment theory, is that attachment is simply a fancy word for love. Once you understand that, the rest of the theory makes perfect sense.
The next thing to know is that our patterns of bonding and repairing are conditioned i.e.
learned, beginning in relationship between caregivers and infants, and continuing into adulthood.