When you’re asking the question of “When do you kiss her”, you’re asking the wrong question.
And critically, I’ve learned the most important part about the first kiss.
A general, all-purpose method that I endorse is the hug-to-kiss: at an appropriate emotional high-point – she’s made a joke, one of you just bowled a strike, you just finished dancing to an awesome song, something – pull her in for a hug.
Pause, look her in the eyes for a second – watch for the triangle gaze! By the by: I always advocate moving slowly for the first kiss.
Don’t treat it like a big deal; just say “Sorry, guess I saw the wrong signals,” and then change the subject.
Acting like a grown-up – not making a fuss, arguing about what you thought she was interested in or dwelling on the fact that she didn’t want you to kiss her – can make all the difference between “not yet” and “not ever”.
So maybe you’re on your second or third date and you’re busy scanning for signals that maybe she’s expecting you to kiss her.
I realize that pop culture has drilled into our collective heads that the first kiss has to be “perfect” and at “the perfect moment”. We will quite cheerfully round up a moment as “the perfect moment” because we the first kiss with our girlfriend or boyfriends to be a magcial moment.
She will perform what’s known as the triangle gaze – looking from one eye to the other, then down to your lips, then back up to your eyes.
Just as someone who is interested in being kissed will call attention to her own lips, she will .
Let the excitement build rather than going for the gold on the first try. A little gum – offer her a piece too – helps mitigate any “oh god, what about my breath? Yes, it will probably signal to her that you’re thinking of kissing her in the near future.
Now a number of you will be busy war-gaming every single way things could go horribly horribly wrong, from garlic breath to getting cheeked to getting and culminating with being arrested by the cops as your house catches on fire. That’s ok, I’m fairly certain that she figured that part out recover from this: step back, give a genuine smile, apologize and move on.