My cousin actually said, "Forty-five is the new 30!
" My mother was less OK with it, but I expected that. Woman D: My family, especially my father, were very much against the relationship. My friends thought it was "gross" and it took them nearly all four years of college to warm up to my boyfriend.
How did/does the age gap impact your relationship once you were in it?
Woman A: Like most 18-year-olds, I did not have much relationship experience, so it was easier for him to get away with things I would not have tolerated had I had a better sense of what a healthy relationship should feel like. We began dating when I was on winter break during my freshman year in college.
None of my friends at school understood the relationship and they had no interest in hanging out with him when he would come visit me at school.
Additionally, the friends that he had that were his age were incredibly judgmental of my age and the relationship.
Woman B: I was 23 when we started dating and he was 39. We got back in contact and I realized how much I missed having him in my life. Woman A: Looking back, I think he needed a partner who would tolerate his bullshit if he was to be in a relationship at all.
Woman A: The longest lasting of these relationships started when I was 18 and he was 40. However, we didn't start dating until I was 18 and he was 36. They split up around 2009 and I didn't hear from him for 18 months. Do you think your age was part of the attraction for him?
Woman B: I think I've always been attracted to people older than me. There is a particular immaturity connected to the hookup culture which I just have no time for. I've found that most guys my age have trouble dealing with strong-willed, smart-mouthed girls, even though we are supposed to live in an age of feminism and all.I guess that was the biggest impact on the relationship — I let him mold me into the girl he wanted instead of being who I really was. I don't think they expected it to last because I had never been in a relationship before.What did/do you friends and family think of your relationship? A couple of my friends have similar stories about dating older men: they chose the person and not the age group. Woman C: My friends were much calmer than I thought they would be — a couple said they always thought I would end up with an older man.Woman D: The impact on the sex was definitely negative.At 18, I was just beginning to explore my sexuality and he was already comfortable in his.